Broken Funny Bone

Oh, how I long to make you laugh,

Split your sides right in half.

Just tell me what I need to do.

Pick my nose? Step in poo?

Should I tell a “Knock-Knock” joke?

Drink a cup that’s full of yoke?

Blow some milk out through my nose?

I’ll try some more. Okay, here goes!

Roll in paint and call it art?

Sit on a whoopee and let out a fart?

What happens if I slip and fall?

Would that make you laugh at all?

Perhaps I’ll snort, like a pig.

No? How about a rainbow wig?

Bump my head on a ceiling tile?!

What’s with you?! Why won’t you smile?!

I’ll never give up! Don’t you forget!

I’ll tickle your funny! You’ll chuckle yet!

We may be done, but just for today.

I’m off to get pointers, from my boo, Tina Fey.

　

Guilty Pleasure

Park the car and step outside.

All of this joy is too hard to hide.

A growl in my stomach and a smile on my face,

I knew when we got here we came to the right place.

We bare the sweat, and heat from the sun.

It’s the number one sign that Summer’s begun.

We’re next in the line, next to chose.

With all these great flavors, how can we lose?

Raspberry? Mango? What flavor of ice?

Chocolate? Vanilla? A custard could be nice.

Step up to the window. Quick! What will it be?!

Shawn goes with a classic, “Chocolate for me!”

Spooning gelati from a small paper cup,

That’s one guilty pleasure we’ll never give up!

Now snack time is over, our trash thrown away.

We’ll do as they ask. We’ll “have an ice day!”