Weird, But True; Things I’ve Thought Or Said About (Or To a Picture Of) Carolyn Jones

If you don’t know by now how I feel about Carolyn Jones, then you have not been stalking me to the capacity at which I would prefer. Also, you must not be following me on Tumblr (http://www.tumblr.com/blog/carolynmycarolyn). To avoid further embarrassment on your part, please go to my Tumblr page and prepare to have your mind blown by her. Sometimes I just can’t control my love for her and, as someone who can appreciate the humor in most everything, I am fully aware of how crazy these thoughts sound to someone who has never known a love like ours. This is one of those things where it’s funny because it’s true. All too true. This list is funny, but it’s not a joke. It’s my life. So with out further ado, here is a list of just some of the crazy things that Carolyn makes me think/say:

Her nostrils are so perfect.

“I’m so glad you got a nose job.”

“You’re so beautiful! *EEEEK!*”

*Just stared at a picture of her and wept at her beauty*

“I love your choppy bangs.”

“I can’t believe they killed you off in that movie!”

“I don’t get it, but you look so adorable with Aaron Spelling.”

No one should look that sexy smoking a cigarette.

“Oh my God! Look at your eyes! You’re so beautiful!”

“You looked so amazing in that movie.”

“I wish you had stayed married to Aaron Spelling forever.”

“If you had to divorce Aaron Spelling, I wish you had married John Astin.”

I love her.

“I love you.”

“I can’t believe they turned you into a Pod in that movie!”

“You’re so much prettier than her.”

“How were you never on Bonanza? It was on for something like ten years! You were on freaking Frontier Circus and there were only, like, fourteen episodes of that stupid show! By the way, you looked amazing, even with frontier hair.”

“What is with those cheekbones?! Ugh! You’re spectacular!”

“You look good with every hair color.”

“I just love your swag.”

*Wept about her awful marriage to Herb Greene*

“If you could move on from your marriage to Herb Greene, so can I.”

“Why are you like this, you beautiful woman!”

WHAT?! How could Walter Matthau shoot like, a bajillion times, and never hit Elvis, but kills Carolyn in one shot! She was standing BEHIND Elvis!

“You’re just… magical.”

There aren’t enough pictures of Carolyn in this room, yet.

“I think we share a soul.”

“I hate to see you sad.”

“My love…”

“Oh my God, you’re face!”

“WHY DO YOU KEEP DYING IN MOVIES?!”

Look at those hands…

“Your hands are so beautiful.”

I think this smells like Carolyn.

That little fat under her chin is so cute.**

“How are you making even Mickey Rooney look mildly sexy? You’re just radiating sex appeal!”

“You would have made a good victim on Law & Order: SVU.”

*Sigh*

“My love! You were SO PERFECT on Playhouse 90! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!”

WHY CAN’T I FIND PLAYHOUSE 90 ON DVD?!

“Your eyes say everything…”

“I hate that I can’t just look anywhere and see a picture of you.”

“You look so cute when you talk after taking a bite of food.”


… and much, much more!

**Okay, this one almost freaks even me out.